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Writer's pictureDericka Writes

Loving The Skin You're In

Updated: Mar 24, 2023


Faces of 3 black women of different shades

Pause right there! Before you read on, take a moment to look over these phrases. Do any of them sound familiar to you?


  • “You’re too dark.”

  • “Why is your hair so nappy?”

  • “Wow! You’re pretty for a black/dark girl.”

  • “Ugh, you’re way too loud!”

  • “Honestly, you’re not good enough for me.”


I guarantee that at least one of these phrases hits close to home for you. Unfortunately, these are some of the phrases that society has attached to the backs of women of color without getting to know the face behind the person. This, ultimately, leads to an even bigger issue among this group of women in the new decade: self-esteem issues and identity crises.


Now, it’s time to foster change starting with you! As you continue to dominate within this evolving world, you must believe in your full potential before making a life changing difference. If you or someone you know is suffering from self-doubt that’s deeply embedded within the mind, then read on to (re)build your confidence today!


Date Yourself/Get To Know Her

One main reason why self-doubt easily creeps into your mind is because your space is available for anyone to invade daily. You have no barriers when it comes to keeping others’ criticisms away from your mind. This is what’s causing you to sink into a dark place that’s harder to escape the deeper you dive.


Similar to dating in your personal life, you’ll want to prep yourself for your new self-care journey. The prepping process consists of completing the following tasks:


  • Spend time with yourself each day, even if it’s only for 30 minutes.

  • Observe and note your likes/dislikes when exploring other realms of your environment.

  • Align yourself with who you desire to become (a ruler, an activist, an educator, etc.).


Change You Social Media Habits

Despite the positive uses for social media, negative issues can come about through the type of content that individuals post. Negative social media content is also one of the main reasons why women of color have issues with connecting with their personal identities.


It’s difficult to get others to understand why certain content geared towards women of color can be offensive. Luckily, there are more options for you to choose from besides hitting the block button on these inconsiderate individuals:


  • Following individuals that match your personality.

  • Following individuals that help you learn and grow.

  • Posting empowering content that makes you happy and comfortable.

  • Empowering and uplifting other people who may believe the same things as you.


Journal Your Thoughts Daily

You don’t have to be a professional writer to do this liberating task! In fact, everything you’ll need to complete this task is already available to you in your home. Take a moment to grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil and let’s get started!


Often enough, taking the time to journal your thoughts can prove to have some amazing benefits for your overall mental health. Some of those benefits include:


  • Connecting to yourself on a deeper and more personal level.

  • Bringing new ideas to light that help you determine your life’s purpose.

  • Relieves any anxiety, anger, or stress that plagues your mind.

  • Debunks any doubts you've had about your potential and opportunities.


Get Comfortable Within Your Body

Before actually loving the skin you’re in, you must first get comfortable within your body. Easier said than done, right? Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be harder on you.


How can you get to that pivotal point? Yes, it starts with the prior three steps mentioned above. However, it also involves making a solid commitment to yourself to make daily efforts to connect with your body and spread positivity to other women.


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