Have you ever watch something you’ve spent years building get slowly torn down right in front of your eyes? And the crazy part of it all is that it’s always the more minor instances that bring the whole foundation down.
And at that point, you have to think to yourself if the journey was even worth it in the end?
The long nights and early mornings.
The blood, sweat, and tears.
The doubters filling your mind with their own insecurities.
The endless thoughts of wanting to give up.
All of those components combined flawlessly to produce desirable results that you can be proud of, especially as a woman of color. You set the foundation for your thriving future, all for it to come down sooner than it took to build.
News flash ladies: this is a test! This process can come with building anything from the ground up, from simple objects to our thriving futures.
What can you do once you’ve experienced this hardship, though? Today, we will go over those steps and get you back on track to achieve more for yourself.
Step 1: The Grieving Process
Sometimes, it’s okay to cry about what you’ve lost. Just like it’s okay to take some time to grieve about losing the spot in your own life’s race.
Keep in mind that failure will always be part of this game called life that we play daily. But at the end of the day, ladies, we still have feelings that we have to express in the best way possible.
What can that expression look like for you? Typically, it can look like:
Being in disbelief over what happened to your plan.
Feeling emotional about all the work you put in going to waste.
Shedding tears over having to refine your life's plan.
So...take that time! No one told you that your life was on a time crunch, and you need to achieve certain milestones today. And if anyone told you otherwise, then it’s time to reevaluate who you let into your circle.
Step 2: Collecting Your Thoughts
After having your moments of grieving, now is the time to get back to work. It’s time to collect your thoughts and ideas to getting back on track with your plan.
Usually, it’s standard to have a plan B in place for moments like this to keep you on track. But if you don’t have one, here are the steps you need to take to resume your regularly scheduled program:
Evaluate what steps went wrong. The sooner you can identify where the plan went wrong, the faster you can identify solutions to make the rebuilding process easier.
Find alternatives to that step. When finding these alternatives, make sure they point you to your overall goal, even if you have to take some detours.
Try that new method out. You can’t tell if a new approach has worked in your favor until you try it out on your plan and monitor the metrics.
If you don’t see positive changes to your plan, go back to the drawing board. Sometimes, you have to go through a few new methods until you find the one that perfectly matches your goal.
And what's the best part, you may be asking? It's that you can use any alternative methods to go towards your plans B, C, and even Z!
Step 3: Plan Your Comeback
At first, making a comeback in your life can seem a bit overwhelming. Then, once you get more adjusted to the journey, it becomes a beautiful event to witness.
Now, what does planning your comeback look like for you? It entirely depends on where you left off and how you fully intend on showing up for yourself.
But if you’re the type of person who needs guidance on making that comeback for yourself, let me share a brief story about my journey.
I was once someone who was in the process of building a whole career, only for the plan to fall through unexpectedly. As I was approaching graduating with my Bachelor’s degree in accounting, my dreams were thwarted by an event that almost had me not walking across that stage.
Did I break down? Yes, in my own time. However, once I went through the first two steps, I had to come to grips that I had to finish what I started:
I planned to enroll in the necessary classes to get my degree and walk across the stage.
I changed my habits to work my behind off to get a better grade.
I made sacrifices to get back to where I was before the crumble.
I learned to ignore the negative talks and replace them with positive motivation and accountability.
What was the result? I walked across that stage in May 2021 proudly.
For you, a comeback could mean getting back to your original position or stepping into a new one. When you have your eye on that prize, the recovery period is even sweeter to experience, no matter which direction you choose.
Step 4: Build Again with Pride
What feeling usually comes with failing to meet your expectations? Fear, disappointment, and maybe even some worry, right.
These feelings only arise because after taking a considerable loss, the fear of the unknown begins to set into your body.
However, there’s one statement that consistently debunks this fear: we learn from our mistakes.
Honestly, if you think about it, this is the motto that our lives are based on daily. Every rule, method, and technique in this world was formed from a flaw:
Inventions like seatbelts, traffic lights, and home security systems (all invented by people of color, by the way).
Businesses like Amazon, Apple, and Microsoft.
Social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Whichever lessons you took away from this setback, use them to make that significant comeback for yourself!
Now that you know the necessary steps, are you willing to take that leap of freedom today?