This is an interesting topic.
Look at your life and write down anything that is not where you want it to be.
Now look at that list.
Write down next to each item in your list what you are doing to change it.
But the key question is WHAT SHOULD/COULD I be doing! Let’s put it in simple terms below:
What is not where I want it to be: Bank Balance.
What am I doing about it: Talking about my lack of funds.
What could I be doing: Researching ways to make extra income and putting it into action.
What is not where I want it to be: My career, I want a change.
What am I doing about it: Complaining about my job and scrolling job boards.
What could I be doing: Learning a new skill to change jobs, volunteering in a role to gain experience in my spare time, attending workshops, connecting on clubhouse, LinkedIn, other networking platforms
So, after reading all those questions, ask yourself one more.
ARE YOU SHOWING UP?
Show up for yourself, commit and follow a path and see where it leads. But don’t stroll, turnaround and go back to where you started. This is the vicious cycle we often find ourselves in and it’s time to break it.
Make a move. Anything, just make it. A small shift can alter a situation you thought was impossible to get out of.
But it takes work…Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Commitment is not just about a relationship it is about what you are doing for yourself. People talk about self-care, mental health and mindfulness but what we don’t hear enough said about, is showing up.
As Black females we are already at a disadvantage when it comes to career trajectory, this is statistically true, especially here in North America, Africa, Europe and the UK. So why, when given free tools, opportunities and a chance to network are Black women not showing up.
Of course, we cannot paint every Black woman with the same brush, and I have worked with some incredibly driven Black women, but I am talking about the ones who are trying to come through, they want but aren’t prepared for what is needed to get there.
The famous quote ‘You want what I have but are not prepared to do what I have done to get here’ comes to mind.
But are you showing up to what is available to you?
My parents’ generation struggled for us, and we are here in a more privileged position than they were in many ways. Now, we are in a world where we can connect, do business and make moves all while sitting on the couch but all too often people are still reaching for the remote rather than the opportunities presented.
Sometimes it is hard to show up but believe me, when you do, it’s never time wasted.
When I go to the gym in the morning, I say to myself ‘I never regret a workout’ and it is true. At 6.30am every day I show up and work, especially when I don’t want to.
What is not where I want it to be: My fitness.
What was I doing about it: Nothing and eating too much Nigerian food.
What could I be doing about it: Showing up. Wake up and hit the gym
My advice to you is this: grab every opportunity that is going to get you to where you want to be. Some may take you on a different path, but closer to where you want to be. So dare to be brave to let yourself explore that opportunity and all it has to offer you. Do not get in the habit of taking great opportunities for granted, they don’t come around often.
Most importantly, be respectful of people's time, especially those that are working tirelessly hard to make those opportunities available to you in the first place. Respect their time, show up and take what you need.
Be honest with yourself and what you can commit in terms of time and finance, then make your own decision.
We all have responsibilities, jobs, families, school, social activities but we have to actively work towards the things that are not where we want them to be, even if it's for an hour a week.
So, show up for yourselves, and ask yourself these question in a few weeks’ time:
Am I doing enough?
Am I showing up?
Am I further today than I was last week?
You might just be surprised at how far a little can take you.